Saturday, September 30, 2006

Geography

Hm... while it is true that certain other bloggers are complaining about not having much to say, those aforementioned bloggers are doing waaaay better than I am. 'Cos there's been absolutely sweet bubbly all going on here, as the six or seven of you who actually read this thing might have noticed.

Not that it's terribly interesting or anything, but I was just perusing my ClustrMap (over there in the sidebar), as one does, and I noticed a few readers in 'interesting' (well, to me, anyway) geographical locations:



Apologies for the quality of the image, or lack thereof - it's been through the dreaded 'screen-capture to PowerPoint and back again' crapulation filter.

Now, feel free to remain anonymous if you wish, but does anyone want to claim ownership of these locales? Answers in the comments box, if you will.

Me? I'm the great big blob close to Toronto, Canada - obviously I haven't gotten around to blocking my own IP address yet. Hey, I can't be relying on you lot to boost my site visits total, now can I?

EDIT: Ok, I suspect that one of those arrows is Guyana Gyal... the one pointing to Guyana, I suppose. I'm too lazy to do the image again without that arrow, ok?

--

In the meantime, why not go over to OneMoreLevel and waste the rest of your day? You'll need Flash. Come to think of it, if you don't have Flash installed, don't do it. You'll never get anything else done...

Weekends

So, having spent much of last weekend sitting out in the front yard, surrounded by a small amount of no-longer-needed possessions up for sale, and manifestly failing to sell all but a few of them, it appears that this weekend might end up being a write-off as well.

What I ought to be going, is sitting in front of the Sleek and Intelligent Computer™ doing research for my piece of a report commissioned by a Certain Government Ministry, on the topic of 'New DNA Sequencing Technologies' (yes really). A topic which I know lots and lots about, allegedly. What I am doing, obviously, is writing yet another pithy, witty and profound blog entry.

[Standard dislaimers apply: certain aspects of the previous sentence may not be entirely true.]

The sad thing about last weekend was that the total take, for six hours of time, was about twenty bucks. That's just a hair over $3 an hour. The first job I ever had, in a furniture store, paid $3 an hour. That was 22 years ago.

All is not lost, however: the Junior Ricardipi had their karate classes cancelled, meaning more time for me to sit in front of the TV watching soccer oops-I-mean 'work on that report'. And not fiddle around with the blog, not at all.

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In other news, the hawk has re-appeared and I snapped some pics with the [gasp!] film [gasp!] camera, which is equipped with a 300 mm zoom that should give a bit closer view than the digital did. And the bird was even facing in the right direction this time. Whenever we get around to finishing the film and developing it, I'll post one or two if they're not totally crap.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

It's called a 'printout', allegedly.

From the newspaper the other day:

"Authorities said they have lost the computer that belonged to one-time JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr and allegedly held child pornography images he's charged with possessing.

The missing computer, however, is not expected to jeopardize the case against Karr because authorities copied the entire hard drive onto paper, including the five illicit images..."


Copied it onto paper? When I was young, we used to call that 'printing it out'.

And what the heck kind of a backup strategy is that? Couldn't they copy the hard drive onto, oh, I don't know, another hard drive? Flash RAM? Tape backup? CD-ROMs? DVD-ROMs? A network drive? An off-site data silo?

No wonder the US Justice system is so useless. Granted, this was some Sheriff's Department and not exactly the FBI, but really, now. Makes me happy I live in a country where we have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who only occasionally open people's mail.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

You know you're a parent if:

Oh, all right... thanks to the wildly popular nature of these "You know you're a parent if..." posts, I have chosen to share with you the accumulated wisdom, wit and incisive comments of some Ricardiblog readers. Also, I've nothing better to say at the moment.

Please note that certain aspects of the first statement above are not entirely true. I've boldfaced the relevant parts so that you can find them easily.

Dawn observed:

3. You've eaten canned spaghetti in the shape of cartoon characters even though you don't particularly like it because a certain little person has delared, "I don't like that anymore" and you were raised by older parents who put you through the Great Depression by proxy and are therefore incapable of throwing away perfectly good food.

Yup, I recognize that one.

And Zoe chipped in:

4. You start baby-sitting people who are bleeding from having fallen over in a very drunken stupour.

I'm really not sure if she means her children, or other parents who are drinking out of desperation as a result of being parents. Either way, it makes the list.

I'll add one more, based on very recent experience, and then perhaps we can return to the usual posts of earth-shattering significance, or at the very least another out-of-focus picture of some flowers or something.

5. You no longer dare say anything about dinosaurs, because the four foot tall, walking, talking encyclopedia that lives in your home will correct you every time.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

You know you're a parent if:

2. You have, on at least one occasion, spelled out the words "My Little Pony" with alphabet soup letters.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Yaaaaaarrrrr!!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, me hearties!!!! For more about why we pirates be important, ye be going here.

That be all. Yaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!

Monday, September 18, 2006

B.A.N.G.

Once upon a time, and a long time ago it was, I spent a lot of time downloading freeware and shareware audio and music utilities and fiddling with them, making obnoxious noises, and occasionally even recording the results. As with all things found on the Internet, these programs were of highly, um, variable quality. Many did one or two things well, some were completely useless, and a select few were absolute gems.

Since recent years have put a severe crimp in my (admittedly half-assed) plans to be the next Vangelis, I haven't really been doing much of this any more, but I did recently trip across an old favourite, wearing a shiny, spiffy new web interface:



Yes, the Band Automatic Name Generator has resurfaced (probably ages ago and I just got around to noticing it). When I first knew it, it was an unassuming little DOS application that provided some really, really funny names for imaginary rock bands.

If you still have a steam-and-treadmill powered machine that will run the good old DOS version, you could do worse than downloading it from the good folks at Harmony Central, which isn't a bad place to go if you're interested in making music in general. Clicky and scroll down until you find it. It's a whopping 47 kbyte download, and most emphatically does not run under Windows XP, at least not on the couple of machines I've tried it on.

Ah, the endless minutes whiled away giggling over this... Here are some examples from the vaults (i.e. one of the barely-organized heaps of paper to be found stuffed away in various nooks and crannies scattered throughout Chateau Ricardipus).

Convoluted Promiscuous Cod

Cannibal Apology

Japanese Door Melon

Stingy, Omnipotent Fudpucker

Hot Buttered Spam

Flap Wafer

The Flippant Armpits

The Elvis Critics

Ant a la Carte

Johnny & the Unjust Lubrication

and, of course, my all-time favourite, not to lower the tone or anything, oh no:

Flatulent Rampage.

So, if you will... Click. Comment-ify the results if they're funny. Or just come up with your own better suggestion and stuff it in the comments box along with your demo tape (oops, showing my age again...). We at the Ricardipus Records A&R Division will give each and every submission a thorough listen. Allegedly.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Mystery flowers...

...seen on an early morning walk around the local pond. Does anybody know what these are? They were hanging over someone's back fence, on a large shrub:


Bigger and more realistic photo is on Flickr. They seem to come in yellow as well:

Answers on a postcard, please, to the usual spot (i.e. the Blogger comments box). Ta.

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In other news, it's only four days until International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Which is also the 650th anniversary of the Battle of Poitiers. Apologies to any French readers (about the battle, not about the pirates).

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

August, 2006

Here, for lack of anything interesting happening recently, is a post about the Annual August Civic Holiday Weekend Cottage Trip™. Junior Ricardipus #1 was very excited about going fishing, and so I bought a couple of new lures at great expense at that store that has a bad reputation among some bloggers for not-quite fixing cars, toddled off to Snug Harbour where I dutifully renewed my fishing licence, and headed cottageward.

Someone once made the mistake of telling JR#1 that the best time to go fishing was very early in the morning. So, true to form and using his elephant-like memory, at 5:30 AM he was up and about, dancing in place with excitement, saying “I’m really excited about fishing!”.

Argh.

Dragged myself down to the dock, and into the water the line went… and:



That, my friends, is a truly massive Pumpkinseed Sunfish, Lepomis gibbosus. And when I say 'massive', what I really mean is 'miniscule'.

Final score for the weekend:

Bluegill Sunfish: 4
Pumpkinseed Sunfish: 2
Smallmouth Bass: 1

Total caught with new, spiffy lures: exactly 1.

Largest fish: a whopping 6 inches long. That's, oh, 16 centimetres. Barely enough to feed the cat, if, indeed, there was such an animal there. I sure couldn't be bothered scaling, cleaning and cooking something that small. Actually, it could have been 20 pounds and I wouldn't have bothered, either. Bluch. Fish guts. Yeeeurgh.

Ah well. We didn't exactly set any records, but we managed to not fall in the water. Except JR1, who in all the excitement, forgot where the edge of the dock was and ended up submerged, something he normally avoids at all costs, even during swimming lessons. We did see this fellow though, and a few of his other froggy friends, as well as the usual collection of turtles, loons, chipmunks and deer:



That's a Bullfrog, Rana catesbeiana. I wouldn't eat this fellow either, not even the legs.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You know you're a parent if:

1. You find yourself humming the theme song to 'Rolie Polie Olie' on the bus on the way to work.

Argh. Yeeeurgh. Blarg.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Backyard visitors

Well, I've returned from the Land of Many Freeways™, and am now a board-certified Walking Pharmacy (antibiotics, decongestant/antihistamines, anti-fungals, throat lozenges, analgesics, you name it). Eventually I suppose my ears will clear out, the sore throat will go away and I will stop feeling like I have a nest of slugs hibernating in my sinuses. That would be good.

There have been a couple of other backyard visitors recently... this fellow, the Striped Skunk, Mephitis mephitis:


Now, I don't mind skunks, but this one insists on trundling around out of sight among the flowers, in the middle of the day, where it can easily surprise Mrs. Ricardipus, the kids, or me. You can smell a roadkilled skunk half a mile away; getting sprayed by one at point-blank range as you're wrestling with a recalcitrant dogwood tree is not recommended.

This fellow also showed up. I believe it's an Eastern Black Swallowtail caterpillar, Papilo polyxenes. Apologies for out-of-focusness:

Clearly enjoys eating parsley, although it's since crawled away somewhere. With luck, it's tucked up in a nice chrysalis, and we'll have an attractive butterfly come spring. Or maybe it's become bird food. Don't tell the kids.

Friday, September 08, 2006

HVT

On April 20th, 2006, Hubert Henri Marie Van Tol, former supervisor, mentor and friend, husband and father of three, was tragically killed in a traffic accident. He was 46 years old. This Tuesday, September the 5th, a memorial was held at The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, a teaching hospital affiliated with the University of Toronto, and the location of over 15 years of outstanding research from his lab, into the root causes of neurological and psychiatric disease. I worked there for three years, between January of 1997 and March of 2000.

The memorial, fittingly, focused largely on Huub’s scientific career, and featured speeches by figures from the various stages of his progression from graduate student at the University of Utrecht to his adoption early this year into the Department of Physiology at the University of Toronto. Much of Huub’s extended family were there, but did not speak; their grief was the focus of the funeral service earlier this year. This time, there were more laughs than tears, as the speakers picked and chose to illustrate their favourite ‘Huub moments’.

The ceremony was followed by a reception at the University of Toronto Faculty Club. Huub would probably have preferred us to have a few pints at the nearby Graduate Pub, but even he couldn’t get away with that now. I, unfortunately, missed the testimonial toasts and the invitation for anyone else to speak about Huub, his science, and their experiences with him. If I had been more organized, I would have written this earlier for a friend to present; as it is, I have published these thoughts here instead. Some of the events I would have chosen to relate were eloquently described during the ceremony, and I have either omitted them here, or encapsulated them in only a few lines. The speakers also spoke of his impressive scientific credentials and accomplishments; I have made no attempt to cover this extensive and impressive aspect of his life and career here. Many made mention of his infectious laugh, his ever-present smile, his hyperkinetic enthusiasm, and, if I may paraphrase the words of one, his healthy hatred for all things bureaucratic.

During my stay in Huub’s lab, I liked to tell people that he was a real ‘scientist’s scientist’. He seemed to like nothing better than reading scientific journals, discussing research findings, and playing with data. I’ve told the story over and over of how a technician in the lab, working early on a Saturday morning to finish up an experiment, got a phone call because Huub had just read an article in the latest issue of Nature, and, finding no-one nearby, phoned the lab on the off chance that somebody would be there that he could discuss it with. I’ve always like the image of Huub poring over Nature, a journal well-known for publishing highly significant but often deeply arcane scientific findings, while eating his breakfast, and champing at the bit to tell someone about the latest findings. Unfortunately, the technician in question doesn’t remember this event now, so perhaps this story is doomed to be apocryphal. Nevertheless, it sums up Huub’s attitude to science perfectly – everything was there to be digested, analyzed, critiqued and excited about. I was amused that several of the speakers at the ceremony made essentially the same comment – Huub was to many an enthusiastic source of information, critique and analysis of the latest findings. In a field as rapidly-moving and diverse as molecular neuropharmacology, he was a one-man data digest.

I am not the only one who remembers with fondness his half-joking forays into the lab, always beginning with one single word, uttered in his unapologetically Dutch accent: ‘Data?’ Huub loved experiments, the more elegant, the better, and was never more gratified when the answer was ‘yes, it’s done – come and see!’ Of course, this was seldom the answer he got. It never fazed him.

Huub suffered from a common affliction of investigators running their own labs, which I suspect is pandemic: he always underestimated the amount of time it would take to complete an experiment. To say that some of us would on occasion hide, if we knew that he was coming looking for ‘data’, is not, I confess, inaccurate.

I confess also to purposely avoiding Huub’s office as the end of the day approached. To bump into him at five in the afternoon was to be talking with him until six-thirty.

We also used to quake with fear when Huub, every six months or so, decided he needed to get back into the lab and do some experiments himself. This is nothing against him – students, fellows and technicians the world over have experienced this. Solutions get used up, equipment gets moved around, bench space becomes occupied, and general disruption ensues. Fortunately, Huub’s sojourns in the lab would last only a few weeks at a time, and then he would retreat to his office, to come up with the next big plan. To be fair, Huub had created a reputation as an excellent ‘bench’ scientist during his graduate school and postdoctoral days, and deservedly so, and this was spoken of by several of his former colleagues and supervisors. Maybe part of our reluctance to have him in the lab was rooted in the fear that he might show us up. For certain, we would never hear the end of it from Huub if he pulled off a successful experiment that others had failed to get to work.

I would not like anyone to think that working for Huub was not enjoyable – it was. He was the only supervisor I’ve ever had who not only condoned the playing of soccer in the lab, but on occasion even actively participated. He was the only one who, during the 1998 World Cup, would accompany the group to the nearby Graduate Students’ Union to watch the second half of every game. It never bothered him that the first half was watched on a rickety television in his lab, on the only local station it could pull in, a local multicultural station that often had commentary in languages that none of us could understand. He was the only one who once hid inside a cardboard box in the middle of the lab floor just to make us laugh at him. He was the only one who routinely drove me to a subway stop near his house, and convenient for me to get home, when we were both working late. Those drives are enjoyable memories, and even in this Huub’s personality showed through. He had found the quickest and easiest route through the subdivisions, and enthusiastically showed his satisfaction at even this ‘discovery’.

When I finally l decided to leave the lab and pursue an opportunity in industry, I felt apprehensive about telling him. I felt that he would be disappointed that I had decided not to remain with his group, or at the very least in academic research, and I dare say that he was. He didn’t show it though, and with good grace figuratively clapped me on the back and wished me well.

We all have critical times in our careers when we need advice on where to go next and how to accomplish our goals. Sometimes, we simply need reassurance that we are not making a catastrophic decision, or encouragement to take risks. When these decision points have come along in my own career, I have gone to a very short list of friends, peers and mentors for advice. Since I have known him, Huub had always been on that list. His mix of enthusiasm for science, easy-going personality, good humour and healthy skepticism always helped. That he also loved to talk didn’t hurt either.

I did not hear the news of Huub’s death immediately, being en route from Toronto to Montreal, and then driving to a conference in a resort town in the Laurentians. When I got to my room and turned my phone back on, there were three messages, all saying more or less the same thing. Over the next few days, I received at least a dozen voicemails and several email messages, from a wide variety of acquaintances, from the lab, neighbouring labs, and elsewhere in the city. It is, I think, a telling point that people who hadn’t worked for Huub for years, and some who never did but knew that I had, made the effort to find me and the other members of his extended scientific ‘family’. The funeral, and the memorial ceremony yesterday, were well-attended, fitting tributes to a good friend, incisive critic, and mentor.



Tributes:

University of Toronto
U of T Department of Pharmacology Graduate Students
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health
U of T Department of Psychiatry
Ghost bike memorial

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

California. With no freakin' flowers in my hair.

Greetings from Orange County, CA. From where I'm sitting, it don't look like much, let me tell you.

This has been one.marathon.day. The beginning of school, necessitating an earlier-than-usual exit from bed, was followed by JR#2's Junior Kindergarten teacher interview, which chewed up lots of time and was a bit of a fiasco. The poor little bunny (who turned 4 today, hence we had to get up even earlier for presents) was really not amused. Next, a busy few hours at work (when I eventually got there), cut short by rushing off to a memorial ceremony, which I will discuss later.

The airport cab showed up bang on time and delivered me, through rush hour traffic, to Lester B. Pearson International in... half an hour. That's nearly record speed. Result - Ricardipus arrives at about twenty to six, for a flight that won't start boarding until, oh, five to eight. Yet another error overwhelmingly on the side of caution, and another fun evening at LBP Terminal 2, which has exactly this much good stuff in it: nothing. Of course, I had been standing in line, not realizing that my earlier brilliant gambit of checking in online the previous night meant that I could have just walked through. Ah well, at least I didn't have to spend the additional time I would have saved in the departure lounge.

On the plane (late) and off we go... I haven't told you yet that I am tanked up on Advil and Amoxicillin, fighting a vicious throat/ear/sinus/URT infection that comes with a special fever sauce on top. Did I buy decongestant for the flight? No. Foolish, foolish Ricardipus.

I have never, ever, felt worse on a plane. My lower back is killing me from sleeping badly for several days with this fever, and did not respond well to a five hour flight. I was forced to buy a Swiss Chalet/Air Canada sandwich (cold) for an exorbitant amount, because they don't.give.you.free.food on Air Canada anymore. Remember when we used to laugh at budget airlines that did that?

Still starving, we began our descent, and I experienced the worst pain I have ever had in certain parts of my head. My ears, and the region directly behind them, felt like they were going to rupture, my neck had pains through it from sitting, and a nice sinus headache piggybacked along with it all. When we landed, I could hear very, very little. Both ears, almost completely blocked. And my voice was shot from coughing, the throat thing, and not getting enough water from the Air Canada stinge-meisters (come on, it's water, for goodness' sake).

LAX is a tedious place. 'Nuff said.

Bright spot - the car rental place did not have a cheapest-thing-to-rent compact car (which is what I had asked for) and I am now driving a mean looking black Dodge Charger. Some negotiation with another customer in the lot was required, which went a bit like this:

Me: Are you looking at the Charger?
Him: What?
Me: The Charger. Are you taking this car?
Him: The car?
Me: Do you mind if I take this one?
Him: Don't matter to me.
Me: Thanks.
Him: What?

The above conversation may have had something to do with the facts that a) I could barely hear what I was saying, and b) I sounded like a very small frog that had swallowed a bottle of drain cleaner, lost its voice and subsequently been run over by a bus. They eventually settled for a white Dodge Magnum, which is also pretty spiffy, and which I spotted in the hotel parking lot when I got here. Well, I suspect it's the same one, anyway. Probably people I have to meet with tomorrow.

[EDIT: I just saw the guy at breakfast. We both wanted to use the toaster at the same time. I suspect that the Charger and the Magnum will end up wrapped around each other when we both try to occupy the same parking spot when we're returning the cars.]

By the way, the car company shuttle bus comes to the Purple Tram Stop. Why they call it a Tram Stop, I will never know. There are no trams running through the middle of this airport.

Anyway, 45 minutes or so down the San Diego freeway, which is an extremely tedious piece of road, and here I am. I was very impressed with the quietness of the ride in the Charger, until I realized that I still couldn't hear anything much. Perhaps I should write to the good folks at Dodge and suggest this as a marketing point: "Exceptionally quiet to hearing-impaired people".

The hotel is so-so, but has free hi-speed so I suppose I shouldn't complain. Much. More. A bottle of 'Cactus Cooler' (any resemblance to any other repulsive orange/pineapple soda-type drink is probably not at all coincidental), and off, finally, to bed.

Bed to bed time: 19 hours. That's not including the three hour time difference.

Good night...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

HR has been notified

From the applicant file:

Example 1. How not to reply to an email from a prospective employer.

respected sir
thanks for a lot for ur mail.
sir in future if there any chance plz gave me an opportunity.
thanks waiting for ur response
byeeeeeeeeeeee

Ok, I know what you're thinking - the applicant doesn't speak good English, so I shouldn't get on his case. But this person's covering email and c.v. were written in immaculate English. And in any case, the use of the word 'byeeeeeeeeeeee' is not recommended.