Pedantry

My eight year old son just corrected me on the plural of Paramecium.

Sigh.

Development mule

It has been a while since I first leaked word of The Light Car, an R&D project of Junior Ricardipus #1 Motor Works, Inc. For those of you who a) don't remember, b) didn't read the first post, or c) have no idea what I'm talking about for any other reason at all, a brief update. When last we saw it, the Light Car had reached the stage of being built into a development "mule", capable of something less than the targeted three trillion kilometres per hour.

Following an extensive design process which you can read about at length, some careful calculations were performed:


Very hard math was required.

And then the hard work of engineering the prototype began. After many hours of labour, the prototype was completed!


Not exactly as shown in the plans.

Preliminary testing has been very positive so far, although we are not convinced that the power transfer from the solar panels to the drivetrain is quite where it should be. At a top speed of about 5 kph, the prototype is adequate for shaking out some of the early design bugs, but there is a great deal of work to do in order to achieve the desired performance. The 14-cylinder gasoline engine is also turning out considerably less than the anticipated 2,000 horsepower. The addition of the flames on the side has certainly helped to speed it up, however.

We at Junior Ricardipus #1 Motor Works continue to be enthusiastic about this project, and will work hard to make the Light Car a reality. Coming soon, to a galaxy near you.

Tarfmar the Raging Deed

Tarfmar the Raging Deed is a gorilla, with legs on his head, a neck that is his entire body, and a long tail that he uses to snare other animals. He is angry because he has yucky stuff in his eyes. He lived between the Cambrian and Ordovician periods.*

I am so confused.



*Some information provided by Junior Ricardipus #1.

The Light Car (prototype)

In answer to those who have recently asked, "why, exactly, is the Ricardipus family buying yet another economy car instead of one of those really, really expensive Italian sports cars he keeps going on about", I present a project that has been in the works here, courtesy of rookie automobile designer Junior Ricardipus #1. The following description has been taken from the relevant engineering documents, and may be technical in nature. Be warned.

--


Fig. 1: Concept Drawing

The vehicle is a single-seat, open-wheel design with a bubble canopy [see Concept Drawing, Fig. 1]. The wedge-shaped body tapers to the front in both the vertical and horizontal dimensions, although the bottom of the car is flat and horizontal in order to minimize drag [Figs. 2 and 3: Side and Front views]. There is a nose wing to provide added downforce at high speed, and the front wheels are set far back in order to avoid this wing [Fig. 2], which is underslung from the chassis.


Fig. 2: Side View, Engineering Diagram


Fig. 3: Front View, Engineering Diagram

The rear wheels are set somewhat far forward, directly under the engine. The vehicle thus has a very short wheelbase, although the track is fairly wide [Top View, Fig. 4]. Thus, the car is likely to corner tightly, but may become unstable in high-speed corners given its very high engine power. Because of the wedge shape, the front track is considerably narrower than the rear. This is accentuated in the prototype model by the use of much wider tires on the rear driving wheels than on the front [not seen in these drawings].


Fig. 4: Top View, Engineering Diagram

The powerplant is a V-14 gasoline engine. When the designer was given the option of zero, single- or twin-turbochargers, "zero" was emphatically selected and thus the engine is normally aspirated. Exhaust is vented via quad rear exhausts [visible in the top view, Fig. 4]. Notably absent from the concept drawings are any air intakes or radiators, and therefore the air supply to the engine will need some attention during the development process. The gasoline engine is reasonably expected to generate at least 2,000 bhp, although this has yet to be tested in prototype. Original top-speed estimates of three trillion kph seem somewhat ambitious, and a later goal of being the second-fastest car in the world (since the 14 cylinders are the second-highest number after the Bugatti Veyron's 16) seems more reasonable. This would put the car's top speed somewhere near 350 kph. Notwithstanding, the name "Light Car" has been adopted in order to reflect the original concept of creating a vehicle capable of exceeding the speed of light.

Engine power is augmented with dual solar panels situated laterally on the top deck, just to the rear of the driver [visible in all drawings, but most obvious in top and front views]. The actual technology by which this solar energy will be converted to engine horsepower is still under development.

Front-end downforce is achieved with an F1-style wing [visible in all views], which has been an integral part of the design concept from the beginning. Attempts to convince the designer that a rear spoiler was required in order to add tail-end downforce at high speeds were met with resistance, and the final design therefore omits any kind of rear wing. The design team will attempt to balance the chassis so that weight from the engine, which is located toward the rear of the vehicle [see top view in Fig. 4], keeps the rear (driving) wheels on the ground at high speeds.

At present, an engineering prototype "mule" has been constructed, largely of cardboard and plastic in order to save weight, and at approximately 1:12 scale. It is yellow with orange flames, and reliably achieves speeds of up to 5 kph. Further development is ongoing. Reports of spy camera photos being available have, for the time being, been greatly exaggerated.

Scaryduck moment

Junior Ricardipus #1's joke of the day:

Q: What kind of wild cat needs to go to the toilet?
A: A poo-ma!!!!

For those who don't get it, it's a pun. Puma.

It's a non-stop laugh-fest around here, I tell you.

Ye Olde Snowman Tayle

From Junior Ricardipus #1's homework assignment, February 13, 2008:


One day, I was walking home from school. I was walking in a field. It was snowing gently. Then I saw a snowman in the field. When I got to the road, I heard a thump, thump thump behind me. I turned around and saw a snowman moving! It looked just like the snowman I saw in the in the field! I walked more and heard the thump thump again. I turned around and there was the snowman. I said "what an annoying thing" and told it to go away, but it just scrached it's head! I screamed as loud as I could in his ear, but it didn't hear me! So, I just walked home to think of a solution there. When I got home I decided to crush it with my hands. And I did.


Now that's good reading.